Conversation between Twins in Utero

Twin B: Would you quit pinching my butt?

Twin A: Only if you would stop sitting on my face.

Twin B: I’m bored. Wanna play Twister?
Twin A: Okay, you go first.
B: Okay. Put your right hand on bladder and your left foot on ribcage.
A: Got it! Now you put your knee on belly button and your right hand on sternum.
B: Which knee?
A: How ‘bout both?

B: Okay, cool!
A: Now what?
B: I dunno, um, how ‘bout this—keeping your hands and feet where they are, try turning around.
A: Whoa! That’s fun. What are you gonna do next?
B: I’m not sure. I think maybe I’ll just kick Mom. That’s always fun.

Twin A: I have the hiccups.
Twin B: Yeah, I had ‘em about an hour ago. Have you tried putting your head upside down and drinking water?
A: I am upside down.
B: Oh, right.
A: And we don’t drink anything yet, even though we’ve got our sucking reflex.
B: Wait, I thought Mom said I was upside down.
A: You are—to be born, that is. Mom wants your head down.
B: How do you know what Mom wants?
A: It’s not just Mom, it’s the doctors, too.
B: Well, maybe I can’t help it.
A: Maybe, but it’d still be easier if you were head down like me.
B: You just think you know everything. I’m not talking to you anymore.
A: Well, we can’t really talk yet anyway. We’re in water, not to mention we don’t have the slightest concept about how language works.
B: See, you think you’re so smart.
A: I thought you weren’t talking to me.
B: I’m not. We can’t talk—remember?

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