The Name Game

Daniel, my soon-to-be-sixth grader, brought home his yearbook yesterday.

I haven’t laughed so hard in weeks!

No, I am not referring to the awkward school pictures that kids usually take in elementary school; I am laughing at the creative license the parents take with naming their kids.

While thumbing through the yearbook, I came across boys named “Boxer,” “Havoc” and “Welcome.” Evidently, Boxer and Havoc’s parents wanted to give their sons macho names to live up to. Welcome’s parents just wanted him to belong.

I was also intrigued by the number of “INITIES” I encountered. There were young ladies named “Destiny,” “Uniti,” “Divihnity” (with the extra “h” included), and “Trinity” (ironically, there were three of them!) I felt all we needed was a “Nativity” and an “Annuity” to round out the “creativity” and “eccentricity” of the parents’ selections. Let the “hilarity” ensue.

Ok, I concede that parents should be able to name their children anything they want to; I am just weird about names. I understand that people want to express themselves by giving their kids unique names, but I am old school. A name like “Daniel” may seem old-fashioned to some, but I think it sound like a solid man’s name. It’s easy to pronounce, it can be shortened; there are a variety of reasons I like the name. I am sure that the parents of children with unconventional names feel the same way, and they are certainly entitled to their opinions. I just know that children can be cruel, and having a different name is an invitation to harassment. While it’s true, some children embrace their distinctive names or maybe an unusual spelling of a conventional name. In my opinion, however, I don’t see the need to “Welcome” “Havoc” in a kid’s life.

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