Saying No Without The Guilt

Saying no to kids, specially your step kids is not easy. Here are a few ideas on how to say no without the guilt!

When you are a new blended family, it can be very hard to say no to the step kids. You want them to like you and sometimes saying no feels like the wrong thing to do! But today we are looking at how you can say no and not feel guilty.

Kids may look all cute and innocent, but behind those pretty eyes, cute smile and messy hair is the mind of a devious mastermind who will do whatever it takes to get that extra piece of candy, a new toy from Walmart or in general just get their own way. Saying no, even when you know you are right, can make you feel like the worse person in the world. The kid somehow makes you out to be the bad guy… even when you did not actually do anything wrong! So here are a few ways to say no and avoid feeling like you are the second coming of Ursula!

Give Them Something Else

Most of the time us parents say no it is down to money. The kid will pipe up with, “Hey let’s go to the waterpark” which costs like 20 bucks per person. You do not want to crush them or let them know that money is the root of all evil. But at the same time, you are not going to drop 100 bucks just because they all of a sudden want to go to a water park. Offer them something else to do, say no, but how about going to the park instead? Same goes if they want something expensive in the store, say no, but how about we put that on the Christmas list? or look at something else (that is cheaper) having an alternative is a great way to soften the blow and avoid a stage 3 nuclear tantrum.

Speak To Them Before You Go Out

Ok so if you are needing to run to the store to get some groceries and your partner has conveniently disappeared so you have to take the kids as well. Make sure they know before you go in that you are just running in for some groceries, no snacks, no soda and no darn toys! They will try and hit you with the “can we just look down the toy aisle?” but for the love of God do not fall for it! Remind them that you already told them what you can here for and that is that. Sure they make kick up a fuss, but you can stay strong as you let them know what was happening before you left the house and went to the store.

Offer Them An Allowance

Giving your kid 10 or 20 bucks a week (when I was a kid it was 5, so I do not know how kids expect so much) may sound crazy, but it may save you a lot of money in the long run. I am sure many of you have gone to the store, only for your kid to manipulate you into buying them some toy, a magazine, candy or something else. All this adds up and they get used to you always saying yes. But if you give them an allowance you can let them know that once that money is gone, it is gone and no matter how much they complain they have used all of their money for that week. It may take a while to get this system down, but trust me after a while, your child will get used to having their own budget.

Photo courtesy of www.empoweringparents.com
Comments
No. 1-3
billso
billso

Smart advice for all parents!

Seamul
Seamul

Good article.One of the simplest words causes people the most stress. You would rather sacrifice your time and energy than cause conflict and guilt. Here are some practical steps to say "no", thus being true to yourself and others

Seamul
Seamul

Great article.Most of the time us parents say no it is down to money