Helping Step Siblings Get Along
One of the hardest steps that a blended family take is in getting all of the kids to get along and realize that they are now on big family and on the same team. It can sometimes take a while to get there, but today we have a few tips for you to try and help this relationship along.
There is no sure fire way to make everyone get along, but here are a few tips that you can use which very well may make your kids get along better.
Have Clear Cut Rules
The rules of the house should be the same for everyone. Not one set of rules for your kids and then one set of rules for their kids. Having a set of house rules that are the same for everyone can help get rid of any feelings of unfairness or favoritism.
Let Them Get On With It
Trying to force situations can be the worst and it can make kids really start to resent each other when they are being forced together. Try letting them just be kids together. Maybe take them to an arcade, to a movie, McDonald's or whatever. Give them the chance to get to know each other without mom or dad being in the background hanging on every word and praying that they will be best buddies. Most likely they will probably start to bond over how annoying you guys are!
Do Not Force Things
This ties into what we were just talking about. But my partner and I tried so hard to force our kids to be best buddies that it drove them nuts. Like we said, let them get on with it. Forcing things is more likely to make them resent each other and you parents even more. It may take time so do not worry about it. Forcing kids to be buddies can make things much harder for the whole family.
Get Rid Of The Word Step In Your Family
While your kids may never warm up to actually calling your partner mom or dad, even if they do have a great relationship. That is fine, but when it comes to the kids, do not refer to them as your stepson (we know we have in this article, but you get what we mean) or when talking about their sibling do not say “your stepbrother” just say, your brother. They may find it weird for a while, but it lets the kids see that you are one big family. It is one thing to use the term “step” when you are away from the kids, but try to avoid using it in front of them.
Respect Each Other’s Possessions
Most of the squabbles that we went through were to do with kids touching other kids stuff. Kids can be very protective of what they deem theirs and while they cannot control the two families coming together. They certainly feel like they can control who gets to touch their stuff. Make sure you let the kids know that it is not ok to take someone’s video game, toy or whatever without asking first and it is not ok to just go into someone’s bedroom without knocking first. Just make sure the kids know that while they may not be best friends, they need to respect each other and each other’s belongings and privacy.
Do Not Stress About It
The last bit of info we want to share with you is to simply not get too stressed out over it all. Not every blended family comes together and starts hiking on a Sunday before having a nice family meal where everyone shares their feelings. It takes time to get to that kind of level and worrying about it is good for no one. Many biological siblings are not super close so expecting two kids who have been thrust together to suddenly become best buddies is always going to be unrealistic.