Many times, when there is a blended family, there is brokenness. The cleaving of a family always takes its toll especially on children. This brings about discourage and another array of sentiments that negatively affect their development. This is only one of the reasons why parents should focus on building strong-willed children with enough character to first, adjust to their new context, and second, to succeed in their endeavors.
There are several steps that blended families should follow in order to make the boat sail. The starting point, interestingly enough, is not always directly related to the kids, but to the entire whole as a unit. This means that building on the unity of the new family is pivotal to building character in children. Here's how to overcome the challenges of raising well-rounded kids.
Here's how to overcome the challenges of raising well-rounded kids.
Make Peace With the Past and Prepare for the Future
As parents, we make lots of mistakes. These mistakes usually have consequences. It is important to stop beating ourselves about our past wrongdoings. Make amends, ask for forgiveness, forgive, and move on. If needed, get help from a counselor to do this.
Once you start to work on moving forward, keep in mind that your decisions today will affect the future. So, ask yourself how your decisions will affect the children in the future. This will help you make more sensitive calls, for good purposes, and away from the emotional lead.
Validate every member of the family's voice - even the younger ones. Make time to genuinely listen to what is in their minds. React constructively to such opinions and make everyone feel that wherever their mind is at, it is to be accepted. This will create children without fear of striving for their dreams and aspirations.
Be a Great Stepparent
Remember that you are a stepparent. You will not take the place of your stepchild´s parent and you should not try to. But you can be a great stepparent. Become an ally with your spouse's ex instead of their enemy. You can get enormous feedback from them on how to construct your stepchildren.
Keep in mind that the unity of this blended family depends on how you integrate into it. Be sensitive to your stepchildren's character. Accept that they have a different set of behavioral standards. Manage your anger. Treat all the children equally without favoring your own.
Make your marriage a priority and build upon it. Plan a date. Take time to spend with each child, one at a time. Maybe help them with homework or a project, or even go out. Plan fun family times.
Make Time for the Kids
The best gift you can give your children and stepchildren is time. Make time with them a priority. If you have a tight agenda, dig a hole in the middle of it. Do not let work and obligations get in the way of you spending time with your children. Nothing can be more important.
Create a Supportive Environment at Home
Create an environment at home where everyone can move freely. Encourage them to ask questions as much as they need to. Tell them "I love you" more often. Show this love with a hug or other affectionate actions.
In blended families, outbursts of insults, offenses, or any other form of verbal abuse are more frequent than in nuclear ones. Guard the family against abuse. Learn to acknowledge when something is going on (if suspect that something is wrong, it probably is) and tackle it effectively.
Accept your Children and Stepchildren Unconditionally
Give them the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of condemnation. Let them know that your love is unconditional and irrespective of their character or decisions. Help them uncover their unique talents. Praise them for their successes and help them up when they fall.
You see, constructing a home where unity is pivotal helps develop and nurture a home that represents a safe haven for the children. As a parent, you are the one called to take conscious steps into building the correct atmosphere to build children with character.