Dealing with Adult Step Children in a Blended Family
How to deal with adult step children in a blended family
When you think about having step children, you usually think about having to deal with really young kids who are upset that their mom or dad has a new partner or a salty teenager who is mad at the world, but what about step children who are already full grown? Today we have a few tips for dealing with adult step children in a blended family.
Taking care of step kids who are still kids can be quite the challenging, but rewarding experiences. But dealing with adult step children? Well, that, of course, should be easy. Well while it can be there can still be some challenges and we are looking at ways to make it a little easier for you both.
Keep Them Involved
You may think that an adult step child may already have their own family to worry about and really they do not care all that much about who their mom or dad is dating. This very well could be true to a degree. But that does not mean you do not have to make an effort with them to be part of their lives. Instead, take the initiative, do not get super weird and in their face and business about it. But showing an interest in their lives, work and inviting them over for things like dinners, movie and game nights is a way to show that you are interested not just in their mom or dad, but the whole family.
Be Open With Them
While some adults can be more awkward than kids (we all have at least one in our family!) for the most part if you are straight with one of your new adult step children. They are going to be more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and see you as a decent person. Just be straight up and open when you are talking to them. Remember they are already adults, have lived a good chunk of life, so they know how the world works, how relationships can fail and new ones can start. So when you are dealing with them treat them as an adult, not a young step kid.
Space Is Good
Ok so yes, I just said that you want to keep them involved, but having a healthy amount of space between you does not hurt either. Seeing them once a week or just a couple of times a month is a good way to get to know each other and also not see each other so often that you get sick of the sight of each other. There is nothing wrong if you do not have dinner once a week, just make the most of the time you spend together rather than trying to force time.
Talk To Your Partner
Like you would if a younger child were to disrespect you, tell your partner if your adult step child has over stepped their boundaries and done something to spite or be rude to you. Hopefully, this is never going to be an issue for you, but one of the worst things you can do is let it fester and then snap! Be sure to bring anything that you are not too happy about or have an uneasy thing about up to you partner.
Have Fun With The Grandkids
You know what comes after adult step children? Adult grandchildren! This can be just so much fun and you can really be a big part of a grandchild’s life, even if they are not biologically yours. There are many blended families all over the world where there is no difference between a biological and step grandparent. It is all down to you, how much you get involved and how good you are to the kids. While being good to their mom and dad is great for an adult step child to see, being good to their own kids is really going to make them see you are a real part of the family.