How to Stay Positive During Divorce


Many feel like getting the divorce finalized regardless of any long-term sacrifices they make, is the way. Sorensen, a divorce attorney, said this attitude can induce people to lose sight of the future. Focusing on the exciting and new aspects of getting a new start on the past is among the hardest, but most important steps in seeing things. A divorce is one the most stressful situations in an individual's life, and it can be tricky to remain positive. Marriages require two people's agreement, but it only takes one to decide they want a divorce. If you were not the one to make this choice, this may be hard, and with all the destructive stereotypes associated with divorce, it's easy to become bogged down in all of that negativity. Every divorce has conditions that are different, but the emotional toll of the process is something that will be felt by everybody. This can lead to angry outbursts tempers flaring, feeling lost, depression or any variety of feelings that may cloud your ability to keep a level head throughout the litigation that is lengthy and arduous. It is quite important that you don't let emotion direct you into doing something rash that may hurt your side in court, and here are a few things about keeping your composure at the toughest of times to keep in mind. Meeting regularly with a therapist can be a very beneficial way to help recover confidence and find a direction that is positive, despite the common view held by men that opening up about your emotions is an embarrassing sign of weakness. While you are continually visiting keep an eye on your home with a simple doorbell camera. That doesn't stop some from unloading. Sorensen said this is not inherently a bad thing, but it can be expensive and there are situations where he would suggest seeking help. "I try to give the customer a perspective on how they are going to think in five years or whenever they're remarried, and what they wish they'd have done in their divorce," Sorensen said. "I see many clients come in 5-15 years after their divorce and they're still paying alimony and didn't get to see their children as much as they wanted to. I try to relate those stories to my clients that are existing. It helps them see past the present situation." Maintaining an optimistic outlook may seem cliche, but it's key to getting through the procedure. It's important to remember that everyone has their faults and it's not singularly you or your spouse that caused the end of the marriage. Consider the divorce as a life lesson, not a synonym for failure, and know that it is possible to move forward with dignity and find happiness. During the divorce proceedings, it will feel easier to roll over and agree with whatever conditions the party is putting forward instead of getting in a bitter debate over details that are not in your favor. This attitude may result in blindly signing terms. Cordell Attorney based in Omaha, said he keeps a"blame me" policy open with his customers for everything that might lead to conflict. "Many times, I will just let them speak, because they just need someone to listen. I don't mind being the sounding board for my clients and listening; although, it can become quite costly for them depending on how long they speak," Sorensen said. "However, in some situations, once the client either continues to discuss the very same problems over and over or that I get concerned about some of the things they're saying [like ] violence against themselves or another, distorted views of reality, etc., I shall strongly recommend that they use a counselor or therapist." While seeking a professional can be beneficial for dealing with the stress and emotional toll of divorce, consider that it can help or hurt your divorce proceedings depending on where you live. Therapists' documents are discoverable in certain states, meaning they might be detrimental or embarrassing depending on what was discussed if they are brought up in court. Attorneys can also advise looking for a professional counselor in situations where their client was accused of psychological or emotional abuse to show the court they're working on the issue. Either way, it is probably best to ask the advice of your attorney before seeking out a therapist to make sure it doesn't damage your case. Therapists Most attorneys will not have any trouble being the"bad guy," especially from the tougher aspects of the divorce, such as settlement discussions. They are there to be an advocate for you and find the best deal possible, but they cannot do their job if you sign agreements to prevent. "Many clients find it easier to just agree and not rock the boat,''' Kinkaid said. "For instance, if it came to alimony and the spouse earns 10 times as much as the husband, but the husband really does not want to contend with the wife, he couldn't blame me in asking for jealousy. He can't blame me for discovery. He can 'blame me' for doing my due diligence." Keeping cool during the divorce and maintaining an optimistic outlook is for getting through, and beyond, the proceedings very important. It could feel crushingly oppressive but the world will continue to turn, there's greater and still plenty to enjoy happiness to find. Maintaining control of your emotions rather than giving in to reckless action will help you have a perspective that is better after everything is finished and avoid unnecessary difficulties. Keep a Positive Outlook!